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5230 South Service Road, 2nd floor
Burlington, Ont. L7L 5K2
Martin (905) 334-3166 | Tony (416) 557-6070

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Guten Tag,

Ever wanted to be German?

Here is your big chance - Burlington's first annual Oktoberfest!!! October 15th, doors open at 5 p.m., Burlington Senior Centre, 2285 New Street.

Oh yeah, baby, this is going to be a party. For a paltry $25, (2 tickets for $45), you get:

    • German food, (i.e. - in the form of huge German sausages, sauerkraut guaranteed to morph into methane the second it drops out of your oesophagus, cabbage rolls and coleslaw).
    • A plate, perhaps even utensils - we still have some research to complete on how Germans eat all that aforementioned stuff in their natural habitat.
    • Five oversized German males in shockingly inadequate leather shorts cleverly designed to expose almost all of their pallid white legs. These rotund Teutons will be playing the tuba, accordion and such on stage until such time as either they, or you, fall down.
    • Raffle and 50/50 opportunities!
    • Door prizes (most of the prizes are, in fact, doors!).
    • Happy hour, with beer on special between 5 and 6 p.m.
    • Draft beer - and good stuff too, not your typical gumbo made out of preservatives and water drawn from the Welland Canal.
    • Dancing all night, toasts in typical Bavarian fashion and, most of all, a brilliant, let your hair down party atmosphere.

And, if that is not enough, if you get to the point where one more polka will bring the sauerkraut back to the surface, there will be a classic rock 'n ' roll interlude featuring the awesome dino-rock band Mid Life Crisis and their devilishly handsome, though not German, front man. At this point you can get up and dance like normal people instead of charging around like you're running away from a rhino while tied to the dead guy out of 'Weekend at Bernie's'.

It is going to be the event of the day, possibly the whole weekend. People will be reminiscing over the great time they had for minutes afterward. You cannot afford to miss it and there are only 250 tickets so you need to lock this one down fast.

You may have been to a Mid Life Crisis night out, you may have been to a Full Monty night so you know this is going to be a great time and great value. So block off Oktober 15th, (doors open at 5 p.m.) and get your ticket order in quick. Don't make me hound you!

This once-in-a-month-time gala will take place the Burlington Senior Centre on New Street...walking frames and geritol can be obtained there at reasonable prices.

Would I lie to you just to make a sale? We want this to be the biggest party in town so bring your friends, get ready to boogie and let's have a great night on this first Oktoberfest. Call me, darling - we'll do lunch.

Honest, Les Bell


To Purchase Tickets: Call Les Takacs 905-336-2651 or Les Bell 905-631-7683

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